Forever is a long time in the electronic world
By Deborah Salomon
During end-of-year holidays, whichever you chose to celebrate, people tend to ruminate on this and that, especially what’s wrong with the world and how to make it better. Well, ruminate no more because I’m going to tell you what’s wrong with the world: Twitter. Twitter represents TMC (too much communication), related to TMI (too much information). Not all is accomplished with words, a good thing since Twitter, once limited to 140 characters has doubled to 280. Text messages arrive littered with emojis, essential if one assumes that one emoji is worth, well, a cliché or two. But the problem lies not with Twitter and text alone. Information — whether printable or not — lives forever. Surveillance cameras are everywhere. Cellphone positioning reveals your location. Emails never die, even though they bow to texting. These days, when I want to send my grandson a newsy email I must text him to check it, since communication between young adults employs only essential words, often phonetically spelled minus capitalization and punctuation.
To wit: Secrets no longer exist. Hiding anything — impossible.
This creates a dependence foreign to love letter and diary writers. Your IT guy is more important than dentist, hair stylist, car mechanic, plumber or obstetrician. Because when a system’s down, life, even in the slow lane, comes to a halt.
Not that life before the information super highway (ISH) was much smoother:
First off, we wouldn’t be singing “O Little Town of Bethlehem.” Mary and Joseph lived in Nazareth but, by Caesarean decree, traveled to Joseph’s birthplace for the census. How accurate could it have been? Now, although some census information is gathered on foot everything else happens electronically. Nobody treks back to Ohio.
Then, had Julius utilized electronic eavesdropping he wouldn’t have been blindsided by Brutus. Then again, the world might lack the treasures in King Tut’s tomb had he not suffered (pre-genetic counseling) abnormalities resulting from his mother and father being siblings. The boy pharaoh died at 19, more likely from these abnormalities than a chariot accident, since his club foot would have made the rough ride impossible. Poor boy, the potentates intoned. Let’s bury him surrounded by gold.
With Twitter in place, no need for Paul Revere to take that midnight ride “through every Middlesex, village and farm” immortalized by Longfellow.
On the dark side, Twitter and other instant communications have enabled people to speak “off the cuff.” Incidentally, this expression originated in the 1800s, when men’s shirt cuffs were made of stiff paper — handier for taking notes than even an Apple iPad Air2. The problem is, folks attached to cellphones will devour the tweet immediately, then re-tweet the juicier ones. This spontaneity has proven more ruinous than Prince Charles’ late night phone sex with Camilla. Wars have been fought over less inflammatory remarks than what POTUS tweets daily. Maybe another one will.
Besides, “tweet” (remember Tweety Bird?) is a silly word to be bandied by serious newscasters or in U.S. Senate chambers. To speak of a president’s tweets sounds vaguely disrespectful, as though describing an undergarment. Perhaps this flippant title gives license to insult or demean or threaten.
You think?
Therefore, looking back over 2017, I can postulate that without Twitter, mankind wouldn’t be in such a dither. Humans won a few wars, conquered polio and smallpox, transplanted hearts, cracked genetic codes, broke the sound barrier, landed on the moon and Mars with nary a tweet. The Ten Commandments require more than 140 characters, as does the Pledge of Allegiance. And most political pooh-bahs have learned to count to 10, at least, before pressing “send.”
That said, I’m wishing you all a sweet, tweet-free holiday season and a more conscionable New Year — or else heaven help us all. PS
Deborah Salomon is a staff writer for PineStraw and The Pilot. She may be reached at debsalomon@nc.rr.com.
